Respecting and accepting each other

Respecting and accepting each other

This has been an interesting week … at every turn the issue of respecting and accepting the other kept coming up until all sort of erupted today.  It’s been one of those weeks, months really where these items keep coming back up and it’s a matter of what it means, I suppose … as much as how we deal with these.

So, let me ask you this:  what does  respecting and accepting another mean to you?

• Does it mean you respect the other and accept those aspects of the other that you like while being upset about those you don’t like? 
•  Does it mean you respect the other and accept those aspects you like but try to change other aspects, maybe even impose on the other?
•  Does it mean you respect the other and accept them whether you agree or not?
• What does it mean?

To me it means the latter, plus not trying to impose any of my preferences on them.  I may ask them or try to see if I could convince them but if they don’t want to I let it be.  For example, I like my privacy.  I’m not saying I keep secrets but I like my privacy, I am a very private person, very introverted if you will (though I know for many that is hard to believe but please do believe me on this one).  That said, what I mean is that I will go out of my way to get a message across that is important, yes but I don’t really enjoy being in the center of attention.  The best example may be birthday celebrations.  I enjoy them for others – enormously so!  I know many people enjoy being celebrated and everyone deserves it so if I have permission I will help in throwing a party, in organizing something special and all that.  I actually like to think I try to show people how special they are every day … to me that is important.   

But … I hope you noticed my insistence on “permission” – I don’t do anything unless the other is o.k. with it.  I don’t want to impose my ways on someone else, because they may not work for them.  To come to an end with this example, I always ask people to not have a party for me on my birthday (or any other holiday for that matter).  Why?  Because I’d rather not be in the center of attention and really, my mother here on earth gave birth to me so she did all the work .. I’m just here to do what I came here to do and I work on that every day.  I do appreciate the recognition, knowing that someone cares – don’t get me wrong, that is human and I enjoy it as much as the next person.  It’s just that I prefer to have that care shown to me in ways that I can deal with it.  So if you respect and accept me, I think you may give me a card or call me or something like that on my birthday but you will not insist on a lavish party (don’t get me started on surprise parties) or anything of that nature.  That to me is you showing me your love for me. 

Oh and some of my dear friends, family and soul family get that and I am blessed having them in my life.  For example the baby shower my soul sister organized…. I appreciated the thought and effort but I asked for it to be as low key and as much me as possible and: she did it!!  She loves me so much that she understood, respected, accepted and shared her love and excitement in a compromise way that both of us could enjoy.   That to me is love, respect and acceptance.  She didn’t push the U.S. way or any other way on me but made it a very pleasurable and fun experience.  That was amazing – a truly blissful gift.

Another example would be a great friend and mentor of mine, physically speaking my age I think but she just celebrated her 5^th birthday – 5 years since she’s been given a name that resonates with her inner core and truly reflects her.  Everyone in the circle could have argued with her …. But instead there was a wonderfully, loving celebration of all she is and offers to the world and humanity – every day. No one questioned that … that’s respect, that’s acceptance, that’s love, no???

Yet, as I started out many people seem to be less able of giving love or sharing their respect for another that way.  Often it appears that many are stuck in their belief systems and want to share it in their ways with others …. At whatever cost, even if it means showing a lack of respect, a lack of acceptance, and thus a lack of true love for the other. 

And this just slowly began to raise finally erupting today, leading to me to ask these questions…. 

• How often do I need to ask you to keep something private ….
• How often do I need to ask you to not share my pirvate life with everyone else…
• How often do I need to tell you I do not like celebrations in my name or for me…
• How often do I need to ask you to please stop sharing information, to please not ask me to do things your way, to please not force me into situations that I am uncomfortable with…

                                                                                                             for you to honor my request?

How come you ask me to do things your way so you’re comfortable but you cannot meet me half-way or all the way when it comes to me being me?

It is almost sad that it is so difficult for many to remain open to the possibility that another person may have different preferences, may really not enjoy things the way many do and that it’s not a show or an act.  Why not ask the simple question before assuming that I do want my life details to be shared widely, the simple question of “do you mind” or “are you sure you’d like to keep it private and are not just trying to be humble?”  These seem easy enough to consider but … that means you consider my views, my beliefs, my wishes… it means you respect me enough to accept me just the way that I am … 

I believe that we are all perfect, we are all growing constantly, we are all exactly where we need to be at any point in time … I trust that… so I know that those who are not considering my wishes do not mean harm… yet, it becomes a task to always respect and accept the actions of another when they cannot reciprocate…. Why is it so difficult to let me be me… as weird as I may be … I like myself … will you please just accept that and respect me? 

I will be so grateful once you do as that also means you have shed your fears of that which you do not know or understand. 

Publish Post

Maybe we can work on that together?   

Peace & Love, N

“I now see the truth in some people” …

Have you heard that comment made to you lately?

Have you made that comment lately?

It’s amazing how in the last few weeks more and more people have come up to me, mentioned a statement like this, and then seemed so disappointed. Well, the first thing that I tend to inquire about at that stage is:

• “What does that mean?”
• “Whose truth have you seen?”
• “What truth?”

In my mind I am also asking “whose truth” … but more about that later.

So, you’ve seen the truth in someone, maybe this is someone whom you have considered to be a good friend and suddenly you see something that you term “truth” and you don’t like it. Fair enough.

That’s why I ask “what does that mean?’ Is that something in a person you don’t like, you didn’t expect, you don’t want to see? -- again, in the back of mind is a different question…. Stay tuned.

Let’s talk about this “truth” and this friend. What did this friend do or what happened for you to suddenly the “truth”? Honestly, something had to occur, right? So, what is it? If you hesitate to tell me … or anyone else, especially the person in question – then let me ask you: is it the truth in that person or is it your truth or maybe … it’s an interpretation of truth? After all what is truth and whose truth are we talking about? 

Yes, those are the lingering questions in my mind when approached. I don’t mean to make this sound more difficult than it is but “truth” is a very “stretchable” concept, especially in our world today where so many are guided by fear. If you hesitate to tell me .. what does that mean about the “truth” – is it real? Are you afraid to speak it out loud? Do you fear repercussions? Do you worry that maybe the other person – or anyone – could explain and it’s not “the” truth but “one” truth after all?

If you are certain it is “the” truth about that person – why hesitate? Honestly, look at those times in your life when you hesitated… why did you hesitate? In most cases that I have hesitated it was because I was not 100% certain, if I was certain there was no need to hesitate or to hide. So … “the” truth – why can’t you share it with me if you are certain it is “the” truth? 

Yes, this is where I go to that “whose truth” in more direct ways. Of course, you see it as truth and so it is but what if it’s just “your” truth, not definite truth? Meaning that maybe another can explain and add “their” truth to it simply by adding more information. Have you tried that? If not, why not?

That’s where the different question in my mind begins to move to the foreground: “what are you not willing to admit in or to yourself?” I know it may sound harsh to some degree but … let’s take a look at this. 

You see “the” truth but you won’t share it with anyone …. So maybe somewhere deep inside you know that there’s a way to …. Mhmmmmmmmmmmmm…. “debunk” it or make it less 100% accurate? Are you willing to go there? Are you willing to take a look at what role you may play in “this” truth? If not – that’s your choice and you’ll go your way, if yes – that’s your choice and you’ll go your way. 

So either way, you have a choice. Since I believe that the path towards your own inner self, your core, your true journey requires self-reflection I would advocate the second choice; that choice includes reflection and therefore, learning from what happened while the other path (in my mind) simple takes you on a detour to a possibly similar situation sometime in the future that will try and teach you the same lesson, just in other ways and likely in harsher ways. 

That said, every reaction we have to others is a reflection of our own inner selves, our own inner balance or lack thereof. Why are we disappointed in the other? If we are disappointed we must have had certain expectations… did we share those expectations with the other? Where do those expectations come from? Were/are those expectations justified? And more to reflect upon… once we start looking at the situation from that angle we may just be able to fully understand the situation. If we hesitate or avoid this reflection … what are we possibly learning from it? 

So, if you see “the” truth in someone … how about checking out “whose truth” you’re seeing and why you’re seeing it. If you’re angry, disappointed, upset, or blame the other person – are you taking responsibility for your own life or are you giving your power away? … yes, if you’re seeing truth and blaming others for it or anything else in our live…. Who has the power in, for an over your life? Just wondering … 

Getting back to seeing “the” truth in someone… Let me share with you for a minute – if, for example, I believe I see the truth in someone (and I don’t normally use that terminology) then I look at that person, at myself and I am filled with gratitude. Seeing something I had not seen before is a gift to me, whether I like that gift or not – remember sometimes we only recognize the value of certain gifts long after we’ve received it. I while back I saw “the truth” in a person, I saw a side I had tried to avoid seeing, I finally was able to see all aspects of that person. Initially, it was a bit painful because I had trusted that person, and whenever we trust and then see unexpected sides of a person we tend to react with pain, hurt, and often anger – not to mention disappointment. 

So then … after reflecting and considering that person’s side, my side, everyone’s side and everyone mission, plus my soul contracts I realized … this was good to see. I had to see it to move forward, I had to see this and work through it to shed another layer of social conditioning from myself. So it was an amazing gift. I was unable to blame the other person for this – there is no blame; this person did what s/he come to do and I learned my lesson the minute I let go of the veil of illusion and opened my eyes to what was really there. After learning my lesson I was able to move on, forward in my case, forgive myself for not seeing it before and feeling waves of gratitude towards that person for teaching me. 

Yes, I had to forgive myself because often when we “see the truth” we blame the other but if we’re honest we’re upset with ourselves for not having seen “this” before, we feel cheated or betrayed or …. by the other while really this is our lesson to learn and so … gratitude comes into play. Once you have truly reflected on what you’ve seen, your interpretations and all the only way you can really call it “truth” is if you have no emotions other than gratitude for having learned an important lesson on your journey. 

If you feel anything else than you may want to go back and see… “Whose truth” have you been seeing? 

How about it? 

Have you seen “the” truth lately? 

Yes? 

Then share and see “whose” truth, how, and why. 

It may be crucial for your current evolutionary path!

Peace & Love, N

Spring is in the air …. blossom

It’s the middle of April, Mercury Retrograde is almost over (ending on the 23rd), and Mother Nature seems ready for spring – though not quite considering some of the back and forth in weather she currently provided where I live!! 

Yet, looking outside into my yard I see that the trees and flowers are ready, soaking up every little ray of sun, dancing in the wind, beginning to blossom.  

What a wonderful sight it is… just as the flowers, trees and plants are getting ready so are we – hopefully.  

The time for reflection, for contemplation is almost over; time to step up and blossom; time to stretch and release any limiting thoughts.  

Yes, have you tried this?  Go outside, “smell the flowers”, see the trees and plants reaching and then… how about lifting your arms up high … stretching yourself physically… ready to embrace all that is?  Try it … because once you stretch the physical you can begin to release more of the emotional limitations! 

Now, don’t get me wrong, you may feel silly doing that at first and you’ll likely try this in your backyard with no one watching … you may even constantly look around making sure no one is watching. Yet, after you’ve done this a few times, maybe even after the first time, with deep breaths of life filling you up so beautifully,  you can feel the sensations in your body, you can feel the release, you can feel the stretch and how wonderful it feels. Once you’re connecting with that feeling you probably don’t want to let go of it again. Quite to the opposite, indeed.  You’ll want to do it more often.   

Of course you do.  It wakens all your senses, the breath of life integrates all aspects of your body, who would not want more of that marvelous sensation?  The more often you do this you’ll soon enough find yourself no longer hesitating to open your arms and embrace all that is regardless of where you are and who’s watching.  

I remember when I used to just step outside the house to dance in the rain with my arms wide open, or walking from the office to the car in the pouring rain and just lifting my arms up, lifting my head up and taking it all in.  When the sun’s out I also lift my head and smile back at the universe; I take in all the blossoming of the natural worlds, talk to the squirrels bathing in the sun or playing without care in the world.  Yes, I talk out loud to them … I know … by have you tried that?  

When you lift your arms, open your arms, open your eyes, and your heart that is when you allow the universe in; that is when you allow yourself to let go of limitations.  

It is time now to release those long-held beliefs that limit you.  It is spring, it is time to blossom, it is time to shine and share, time to re-awaken from the winter rest.  Yes, it is time.  It is time to step up, step forward, and shine your light, share your talents, and stand proud in who you are , with your head high and your arms wide open. 

Remember, spring is the time to blossom so go with the flow of Mother Nature and blossom in tandem with her.  You can be sure you will receive more support than you can imagine.  Just release the baggage holding you back !  It may take some work but the benefits of being in the flow and having your own light reflected back onto you are well worth.  

Don’t hold back.  

Stretch all aspects of all your bodies and BE PRESENT in the springtime, in the blossoming time.

Peace & Love, N

Healing ... Humanity and Mother Earth

March has been quite a month, hasn’t it? The energies have been abound showing us issues we need to address, from the earthquakes to tsunamis to human uprisings to man-made disaster, and personally as well for many of us. Opportunities to reflect, to think, to grow. Have we taken advantage of that?

In times like these there are so many that are eager to help Mother Earth and Humanity, which is a wonderful thing to witness. Yet, often I cannot help but wonder about some of the many ways in which people are trying to help. I believe that most people’s intentions in helping are good – though even the best of intentions do not always play out for the best of all concerned. So today, my guides have asked me to just speak a little bit about helping and healing others, including Mother Earth – just a few points for all us to think about and possibly comment on. The other day on my talk show my guides also jumped in to try and ensure that listeners understand the often warped world of helping and healing others.

Granted, intentions – as I stated above – are often beyond the shadow of a doubt originating from a loving and caring heart, especially because all souls are internally beautiful and pure. That said… is it possibly at times a bit arrogant to chart a course for healing others? Or Mother Earth? What I mean is, how are we to know, how am I to know what is best for another or Mother Earth? Well, you may say, we do receive guidance, don’t we? Guidance from prayers, visions, dreams, or via any of our other senses. Yes, I will say – absolutely… but in whatever we do, given that we are living a human experience there are at times agendas involved, not necessarily negative ones, not even ones we may be fully aware of at times but there may be some in our subconscious, all driven by the desire to do good and help others.

That’s a given to me (with a few exceptions, of course) but whenever I consider sending healing there are moral, ethical, and loving aspects I have to take into consideration.

I ask myself:

    Does this person want healing?

    Do I know what is best for this person? In all areas, ways, and possibilities?

    Do I know what this person’s lesson is , right here and right now?

    Do I know what this person can or cannot handle at this time?

    Do I know best what Mother Earth needs and why she’s exploding?

    What kind of healing shall I send?

    What are the benefits of me sending healing?

    …. And many more depending on the person or situation.

Why do I ask these questions? Well, as much as I may know I may not know the full picture because maybe Spirit doesn’t think it’s for me to know. If I don’t know or see the full picture anything I can do can actually backfire, can’t it?

For example, if I send healing to a friend who’s not quite willing or ready – what can the outcome be? Multiple forms…. Some good, some not so good; I may be interfering with my friend’s state of being, interrupting my friend’s lesson, thus diverting my friend’s path. Yes, I may wish to help and heal but if the other person’s not ready I am actually interfering in their personal affairs and this can be quite detrimental. One side effect may be that I’m in the “savior” role and that can lead to dependency on the part of my friend – yes, think about that…. All healers, all light workers just want to help and the most difficult lesson we have to learn is that we are not always supposed to jump in as we may ultimately be preventing the other from learning what they need, want or came here to learn. Mhmmm, that’s a tough one to consider, isn’t it?

The same goes for Mother Earth – do I know why she’s so upset? Do I know the ultimate needs of Mother Earth and how to best help or heal her? Only if I know the full picture.. then, when I know the whole picture and get her permission I can set up a nice treatment plan. But... I don’t think I do... I can see that Mother Earth is a bit upset at this time; she’s been showing us with her various weather patterns and outbursts for a while now… have we listened?

Many jump in and pray for specific outcomes, or send specific healing to one or another area of her existence – what about the other areas? Mother Earth is a complex entity, is it sufficient to send healing to just one part? Like taking an aspiring? Well, an aspirin in great in treating the symptom, isn’t it? But what about the root cause? How do we get to that? How do we know? Yes, you can talk to Mother Earth and she may give you an answer…. But again, this may be slightly tainted by your human experiences. So maybe, just maybe the best way to send healing to her is in a broad, global way – agenda free, if you will. If it’s broad and general then she can decide where and how she needs it and the energy can go where it’s most needed, guided by Source.

How about that? Maybe that’s a bit more efficient and loving for Mother Earth and people? In the end the healing and the help we send comes from love and love can heal … so why not focus on that when trying to help? Why make it more complicated?

Maybe one way in which helping and healing is truly for the best and highest of all is when we just send love and peace…. Can we try that for a while? But only to those that are ready, including Mother Earth – she doesn’t need to be “shut up” now, we need to figure out the root problem and as long as we don’t know or are not ready to address the root cause, let’s not confuse things more by arrogance that so often interferes twitch the best of intentions; let’s just send love and peace from an agenda-free, open, clear and clean heart.

Send that from your heart to hers, send that from your heart to your friend’s heart, send that from your heart to yourself, too. We can’t help or heal others if we don’t start with ourselves. 

What do you think?

Peace & Love,

N

Change … have you noticed?

There’s so much change all the time and still so many don’t like change… isn’t amazing that the one constant in all our lives is the one thing so many don’t appreciate or try to run away from? And of course, the argument is that they like things to be constant …interesting paradox.

Nothing ever stays the same and Mother Nature, once again shows that to us so beautifully these days… every day is different, weather predictions are … just that … predictions and more often than not these days here in MD they are not quite met by Mother Nature…. February has been an interesting ride .. March looks to be the same – ever changing 

For me … life’s been filled with changes and the last 6 months … wow … mostly unexpected changes but every day I see how they help my on my path.  You know, often we see an open door and we are worried about going through that door because of the question “what if” … yet, the “what if” might be good, have you noticed?  Most changes that we’re experiencing end up helping move us forward, develop more, grow more.  Of course, not all of it seems like that at the time but sooner or later we have that moment, that amazing moment of  “duh”!  And it all makes sense.

The fear we often have is based on our social conditioning, not our own heart and intuition because why then would we think or consider or notice the possibility of change in the first place? For example, if you’re thinking about ending a relationship – it came up for some reason, heart reason (maybe even just that you need to learn to more appreciate the other but still) and so what is the fear?  Often the fear is “what if” I end up alone, or “what if” I leave and others think I’m crazy, or “what if” I leave without having all my finances in order… just as an example because I think many of us have gone through that at one point or another.

Sometimes the changes affect us in ways we didn’t anticipate and we make them even more difficult than they have to be … even if deep down in our core, in our heart we know there’s a reason and we may even know the reason … we still sometimes create struggle. Isn’t that funny – we’re trying to fight the inevitable because that is the only constant. Plus, we change every day anyhow … a little extra grey hair maybe, or another little “laugh wrinkle”, or a different insight then we had yesterday, a different appreciation of the food we eat… but we often dismiss those constant ones as not “real” changes.  Why is that?  Maybe it’s because we’re used to them and they don’t scare  us while “big” or “real” changes, those that are more easily noticeable by others and us have us question the purpose of change.

Interesting .. I’m must asking … so often we hide behind these walls, these “safety nets” that we have created and that keep us from feeling, from being truly who we are, from being in touch with our core… because it saved us all the times before from being too hurt.  It’s about hurt often, isn’t it? 

A dear one is going through that at this time. He’s doing his best to adept but he clings to the images, boundaries, parameters he has set for himself that with a major life change that he tried to avoid for the longest times (and is related to his calling and his lesson) he can barely function right now.  There’s nothing he can do about the change – well, he could but he chose to accept it  because of the associated choices he made… all those are based on love and being a protector.  So here he is facing an inevitable change, trying to adjust but barely able to function knowing in his heart that this is something he always longed for but unable to admit it.  Fascinating, isn’t it?  Why do we fight change so much? 

Once we go with it, accept the change, accept that it’s part of us .. then we flow and life is easy and simple because we trust.  We trust that the pieces of our life’s puzzle are beginning to move into the right places for the whole puzzle to become one and beautifully finished. We may not know all the pieced or what the puzzle will ultimately reveal but we can trust that the puzzle exists and will be put together, right?

So let’s think about it: What changes are you experiencing?  

And even: What changes are you trying to resist?  (Don’t worry we all have some ….)

If we take a look at those maybe we’ll get to know ourselves a little better, trust a little more .. and appreciate all the little and big changes in our lives…. 

Peace & Love, N